stupid thoughts ponderTen thoughts to ponder?

Ten Thoughts to Ponder

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions : Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers--what you do today, might burn your AV儿劣 tomorrow.

- - - and as someone recently said to me:
"Don'stupid thoughts pondert worry about old age--it doesn't last that long".
LOL...those were funny! My favorite "thoughts to ponder" come from the late and great comedian, Mitch Hedburg:

I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get a hold of me, they just say 'Mitch,' and I say 'what?' and turn my head slightly.

I'm sick of following my dreams... so I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?


This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying: Here, YOU throw this away

I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit!

I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring

It's very dangerous to wave to people you stupid thoughts ponderdon't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're being cocky.
Had to smile at your list, thanks.

My current thought is: "Why are politician's nepotist's and crooked?"

As I say, just a thought.

Cheers
Brilliant ! So true too!
Thank you for the 10 points to Ponder, I really enjoyed them, they made me laugh I will be passing that one on.
Very cute. Sadly, it will more than likely get deleted by yahoo.
Brilliant!

I was going to pick one or two favorites, but can't do it, I laughed at each one!
Thanks - these are great and all so true.
Thanks. I know a lot of slinkies.
Very funny. Thanks for the laugh.
I liked them all. Thanks for the giggles!

#3 was downright PROFOUND!
Thanks for the laughs. All so very true.
Good one. I liked #7, because it applies to me so much.
Too funny...great and thanks for the laughs
Thank you making me laugh on this my 62nd birthday
Hahaha!!! LOVE IT!!
I really like number 8 and 5 the best!! LOL..good one!!..=)